About two years ago, I made the decision to embark on a journey of self-love. Ever since I can remember before then, I always hated myself. I hated the way I looked, I hated my body, I hated how emotional I was, I hated my personality, I hated my thoughts, and I hated my demons. I was so incredibly insecure and always wished that I could be someone else- that I could be more in control of my emotions, more in control of my thoughts, have more friends, have the perfect body, have the perfect relationship, and simply be perfect.
It was two years ago that I finally woke up. I was at my lowest point ever, paralyzed with anxiety and depression and unable to even be alone with myself. I knew that this wasn’t living, and finally decided that I needed to change. I owed it to myself to at least try to learn self-love and give myself the chance at a life I knew I deserved.
The moment I decided I wanted to change, God brought a very special person into my life who helped me open my eyes to everything I was doing wrong and helped me realize everything I deserved to be. This person gave me the courage and the strength to want to change, but ultimately I had to take the necessary steps to change myself; People and things can inspire you to change and be there to support you, but at the end of the day they can’t do the job for you.
I went to therapy, started meditating about 20 minutes every day, started an exercise routine I enjoyed, and started learning about all of the healthy foods that could heal my body. I spent SO much time with myself, learning about every one of my demons and coming to peace with them. No matter how painful it was to sit in a room alone with my thoughts, I forced myself to do it every single day. I learned to get rid of toxic people in my life and only surround myself with the good ones. I started doing things I enjoyed and found my true passion in life- nutrition and wellness. I changed my major to Nutritional Science and changed my whole career path. I made sure to get 8 hours of sleep or more each night and made sure to put my mind and my body first. I was constantly aware of my thoughts and constantly worked on changing them. I became the person I wanted to be instead of remaining stuck as the person I hated. It might seem like it was super easy but honestly it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life!
Learning how to love yourself is extremely difficult, especially in this society, but it is essential to actually living. You cannot really live your life until you learn to fully love yourself. Once you start to love yourself, everything you ever wanted will naturally come into your life. You will finally find your true calling in life. You will finally have the perfect relationship you’ve always wanted. You will finally meet people you vibe with and have the type of friends you deserve. You will finally know what it feels like to enjoy being alone and not have to depend on others to be happy. You will finally learn to love all of your emotions instead of trying to hide them. You will finally love being different. You will finally love every part of you-even the bad. You will finally know how to trust yourself, trust others, and most importantly, trust that the universe is on your side. You will finally give yourself permission to feel vulnerable, honest, open, and free. You will finally stop hurting yourself and the ones that love you the most. Most importantly, You will finally know how to love someone else the right way; You will never be able to love others until you truly love yourself.It will take a LOT of time and effort to do this and it will never be easy- but it will always be worth it!